for 24 years of my life, I’ve never doubt my parentage. I have a perfect family with world-best-doting brother. and I thought my life was perfect. until today. when someone from the family planned an assassination by buying a box of durian and my ever-so-doting brother ate the durian at door of my room. 

And I start to wonder, am I the child of this family’s arch enemy? so much so that they had planned for the ultimate revenge 24 years later and are finally executing it by planting durians all over the house to torture me to death.

Dearest buddies, if you ever find my body, please drench me in eucalyptus to get rid of the durian smell. I hope to die smelling good.

melvyn tay, im putting you in charge of this!

when i die, i want my funeral band to at least play in tune. no auld lang syne and random marches. i hope the playlist includes amazing grace with saxophone solo and persis. and it should be played like how we did it during band tour. ok?

i know i miss band when i still get nightmares about it. haha

things i must do before 2012

well, im quite convinced that 2012 is really the world’s end. the mayan calender, the time-traveller’s predictions, etc etc. i need to create a list of to-dos before i sit down, relax, and enjoy the reformatting of mother earth.

1. pass my exams + graduate (this is the back-up just in case 2012 didnt come true k?)
2. im going new zealand no matter what happens! (kelly hew! no more procrastination! time is not on our side anymore)
3. cook a sumptuous meal for my family and friends. (i dont want them to remember me for my green kueh, chao da otah and oreo orange juice)
4. master my water colour painting and ensure that my paintings get to board that ‘ship’. (just like how mona lisa board the ‘ship’ without a pass!)
5. befriend some martians so that they might actually send me a space shuttle to save me in 2012. (i might need your help on this, junming)
6. reseach for the best spot to see the last of mother earth and spend my final moment with my love ones and a 7x7x7 rubiks.
7. to achieve the above point, i need to buy that 7x7x7 rubiks.
8. email the US team who are building the ‘ship’ to remind them to disable the function of ‘cannot start up if the gate is not close’. it almost killed everyone on board in the show!
9. find suri a boyfriend!! (this is my lifetime dream, i cant wait to marry her off. interested parties, please msg me.)
10. seek enlightenment on complex theories like the evolution of friend-sister relationship. HAHA!
11. call into a radio station and. eeerr, dedicate songs? (i have nv tried calling before! only sms. heh.)
12. do a research and calculation on the mayan calendar to ensure that there is not ‘calculation error’ this time round.
13. stop my calories counting on 31/12/09. who cares about calories when the world is ending?
14. drink water on the MRT and make a scene when the staff confront me.
15. assemble a fully mechanical clock that goes backwards.
16. prank calls everyone in my phonebook at 3.30am in the morning. (they shouldn’t be wasting time sleeping! humph!)
17. reserve for future use.
18. reserve for future use.
19. reserve for future use.
20. reserve for future use. 

alrights. i realise im going to achieve most of the list with or without world’s end. haha! i’ve just wasted my mugging time making a random list!!

ps: i need good luck pple! do a good deed and credit into my account pleaseeeeee. i will pass the good karma back to you guys after exams. haha.